My favorite conversation from yesterday:

M: I don't get it. Why is the Pope going to Yankee Stadium and not Shea? It's not like God loves the Yankees more than the Mets.
Me: Twenty-six world championships beg to differ.

And now, I am off to see the rents, whose bus will probably only be three or four hours late due to Papal traffic. Stupid Pope.

queenitsy nay. you have a way with words, my dear, that is unmatched. eyeholls aside.
hilaryscribbles awwwww, why thank you.
i am quite seductive to the average "this" and "that"
and also "perfunctory" which is my new favorite word
queenitsy that is an awesome word.
hilaryscribbles isn't it gorgeous?
if it was a man, it would be tall and slender, in a fedora, with a cuban, leaning against the side of a brick building
queenitsy But with like... a beak of a nose.
hilaryscribbles EXACTLY. and oily hair
queenitsy yes. wearing a trenchcoat, too.
hilaryscribbles mmmmmmmmmm, yes. filmed in noir lighting.
his cooler brother is nonchalance
queenitsy perfunctory is a bogart-esque hero; nonchalance is a greaser.
hilaryscribbles exactly.
queenitsy I'm glad you understand.
hilaryscribbles the james dean of webster's
queenitsy yes.
hilaryscribbles their floozy cousin would be careless. she wears a slinky red dress and has bobbed blonde hair
queenitsy I read that as "caress" who is is almost identical to careless, but smokes cigarettes and everything she says is innuendo.
hilaryscribbles ooooooooooooooh, yes. they're sisters
queenitsy careless is the spunky, perky one; caress is the sultry one.
hilaryscribbles caress has a thing for embrace, the blond piano man, but he's gay...who's he got it for?
queenitsy austere, who is lanky and androgynous but very uptight and embrace just can't tell if he's gay or not.
hilaryscribbles good god, that's glorious
queenitsy words are my new fandom.
hilaryscribbles glorious is the heavy-set lounge singer, think queen latifah, who sings at the place they all hang out. she is aptly named.
i like this fandom
queenitsy oooooh.
I feel like perfunctory and nonchalance must have a younger brother who isn't quite old enough to get into the club and is constantly trying to sneak his way in.
hilaryscribbles ahahaha...how about...reckless!
or is that wreckless?
queenitsy ooh, yes!
hilaryscribbles and his twin, rambunctious!
queenitsyyes!
hilaryscribbles yes. and they wear little boy spats
**DIES**
precarious would be the thin, hand-ringing, vaguely schizophrenic owner of their hang-out spot
queenitsy he has an on-again, off-again thing with careless.
hilaryscribbles ahhahaahahahahh! YES
and he answers to his boss, abstruse (whose moll is a brunette named mystery)
nobody sees abstruse, they only know about him
it's perfunctory's job to catch him, but he just doesn't care enough to do it
queenitsy it's a hard word. he's a hard man, though. (embrace would like to make a joke here.)

Yep, staying home again, as per orders from poisonivory. Something about actually sleeping after you've been the hospital (but to be fair, I was only in the hospital for 20 minutes, and that was just to get the x-rays, which were negative! So whatever.). I'll probably go in tomorrow, though, because I hate missing work.

--

As we were getting ready for bed last night, harriet_vane let some of her magical writing approach slip. I thought a few people might appreciate it: "In case of emergency, I always write about how Ryan has a scarf."

--

I am off to drink some juice, shower, and eat some jello, and drink some more juice (I really don't want to get dehydrated again). If you're interested in keeping me entertained whilst I'm home sick, feel free to hit me with the fuck/marry/kill meme...even though I feel genuine guilt at having to kill people sometimes. Sensitive soul that I am.

"You know what happened? The nine-tenths of your brain that used to be taken up by penguins are now being taken up with Ryan Ross. There are homeless brain penguins out there somewhere, and it's all your fault. Won't you please think of the brain penguins?!"

"I'm going to brush my teeth."
"No, I'm going to brush my teeth."
"Okay, but I'm brushing my teeth."
"I'm brushing my teeth."
"But I have my toothbrush, I win!"

This was followed immediately by:

"Are you using my toothbrush?"
"No."
"Are you sure? I think that's my toothbrush."
"No! How many times must we go over my green toothbrush problem!"
"Oh. At least one more, I guess."

poisonivory: I guess that makes Sharpay Negaduck.
queenitsy: Does that make Ryan Darkwing?

(I may accidently have bought a Darkwing Duck DVD today. Oddly, the second volume; both stores Jess and I checked were out of the first. Some of these episodes I remember really clearly. It's odd.)

OH! Also Rachel got me HSM2 for Chanukah! Hooray!

queenitsy: What the shit was that?
harriet_vane: Dead dogs celebrating Christmas with a gay alligator.

I'm feeling about 90% better today, by the way.

queenitsy ...you know, I bought Live Free or Die Hard today, but I kind of just want to watch Newsies.
harmonyangel Well. You could mash them up into one movie. "Open the gates and seize the RANDOM BRUCE WILLIS!"

In other news, my managing editor sent me an email from the train on the way home:

Subj: Damn
Text: I'm sorry for this week.

The earliest I left work this week was half an hour late -- tonight I was there for a little over two extra hours. We had a giant last minute...thing, that had to be made live today, and didn't get designed until Monday. So. Tired.

"It's not that I find him hot as a duck, it's that I think that if I were a duck, I'd totally hit that!"

-poisonivory on Scrooge McDuck

(Okay, I was informed, just now, by harmonyangel. Shh.)

Scott Porter (Jason Street of FNL) is playing Rex Racer! You know. Racer X? Secretly Speed's older brother who left home years ago? This could only be better if Zef was playing Speed! (Alas.)

In other news, I am not mature enough to work in an office. Because the editor in chief and the managing editor had this conversation, and I did nothing but giggle from my desk:

EIC: Look, we have to be more specific. First off, does the question specify if it's a male-male or female-male blowjob?
ME: It doesn't specify, but it doesn't matter. The question is about receiving, which is male or female.
EIC: Now, wait, do you mean receiving as in, receiving the blowjob? Or as in receiving the sperm?
ME: According to our style guide, receiving means receiving liquid.
EIC: Now, really, I think the problem with this blurb is that we need to make it more interesting. Why do people care about giving blowjobs?

(And on for a good ten minutes. Luckily, it's not just me; one of my coworkers informed me that everyone giggled through the safe sex pamphlet they published. Our style guide specifies, by the way, that blowjob and watersports are neither hyphenated nor spaced.)

My job went much better today, clearly.

queenitsy: Why is there a delayed start to the game today? It's not raining or anyth...Never mind, silly question, it's because of the Scooter thing.

harriet_vane: The what?

queenitsy: The Scooter tribute? Phil Rizzuto?

harriet_vane: Oh! I was just picturing the Yankees riding on scooters. I'd pay to see that.

queenitsy: Everyone would cheer when Derek rides by, and then A-Rod would sulk because we all like Derek's scooter better.

harriet_vane: And then Robby and Melky would goof around trying to knock each other off their scooters.

queenitsy: And Joba would be all, "Guys! I want to ride a scooter, but the rules say I can't because I rode a scooter yesterday! [pout]"

Me: There's an MTV News headling that says Kurt Loder is interviewing Voldemort.
Matt: How's that possible? I didn't know Kurt Loder was still around.

wemblee The comic relief lines: "You destroyed three quarters of a solar system!" // "Well, five sixths. It's not an exact science."
after the last line, there is: Nothing in his life was an exact science. It never had been and he was resigned with it never changing. Sometimes he wished he could predict the outcome of every decision he could make with the same accuracy as his astrophysics calculations. Then, he wouldn't have to worry or feel guilty when he screwed something up and someone paid the price.

queenitsy that *is* amazing.

wemblee I hope this story is a MILLION chapters long

queenitsy damn, I wanna write a fic like that now!

wemblee "Ooh, Cuba!" Cuba. The place where Miguel had been raped as a child. He tried to paper over the pain with laughter, and Tulio usually seemed to fall for it.
that is my contribution

queenitsy *gigglesnort*.

wemblee this is fun. you could do this with *anything*

wemblee"HA! HA! HA! Spin it! Tail spin!" Yes. A tailspin. Like the one Baloo knew he was in the middle of. A tailspin of whores, booze and heroin.

queenitsy l;kjasdflk;jasdflkasdflkjasdf

wemblee I had to hunt down the theme song first.

harriet_vane (yelling from bathroom): Which toothbrush is yours?
queenitsyThe green one! ... Why?
Harriet: I forgot. I guessed right, though.
Itsy: My toothbrush is always green.
Harriet: Right, but I thought maybe it was always purple.
Itsy: No, my umbrella is always purple.
Harriet: That's confusing. Can't we go back to Red For Rachel Blue For Becky?
Itsy: No! I like green! And purple!
Harriet: But your name isn't Patricia! Or...Godzilla.

( but it should. )

And this is why you should be glad that I don't actually write everything that pops into my mind.

harriet_vane: We could, like, talk to each other while we're in the same room.
queenitsy: Don't be crazy. I only talk to my computer screen, the kitty, and the TV.
harriet_vane: That's true. You don't talk to things that answer you. Except the kitty. Sometimes she says, "nnngow nnngow nnngow" which I don't know what that means.
--
harriet_vane: Can you imagine if we had a kitten named Puppy?
queenitsy: Is this like when you wanted to name our kitten BeepBoopBopBopBeepBoopBop?
harriet_vane: Our next cat is totally BeepBoopBopBopBeepBoopBop. Our third cat is puppy.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to measure your head with my brain."

queenitsy: Is that supposed to be Oliver Queen?!
harriet_vane: What is an Oliver Queen?
Itsy: The Green Arrow.
Harriet: That's the one with the ring and the aliens and the lantern and there are, like, four of them, and the one you really like who's gay with that other guy?
Itsy: That's the Green Lantern.
Harriet: Wait, you mean those are two different characters?
Itsy: Yes.
Harriet: Which one is allergic to yellow? Because that's still stupid.
Itsy: Lantern, and yes, it is.
Harriet: So wait. Really two dudes? Who the hell is the Green Arrow if he's not the one with the ring?
Itsy: He was a Batman knockoff, with an Arrow-car and an Arrow-cave and--
Harriet: No one has an Arrow-Cave. Unless it's covered in that Swedish foam Aero stuff for squishing. That would be a cool cave.
Itsy: --and he has a teen ward sidekick, Speedy.
Harriet: Wait, you mean... The Green Arrow and Speedy? Dad didn't make them up?
Itsy: No?
Harriet: Oh. I thought they were one of those things Dad made up and likes to say to sound folksy. "Good lord willin' and the crick don't rise..."
Itsy: What's cute to a sneaker?

"Maybe it's because we're sisters who live together and are kind of wierd, but why don't we have Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto parties?!"

"We need a strobe light. Right. Now."

I'm half heartedly blogging the Sox @ Yankees game over at baseball_chicks, at least for now. If anyone's interested.

(ETA, quote from Josh on the phone: "So my roommate and my best friend are both here, and they're both former football player, jock, manly-guys. And they're out on the balcony discussing cooking, so I had to call my girlfriend to discuss the game.")

Lovely dinner with Margot tonight. Out with the boy tomorrow; two job interviews on Wednesday. (Eek?) I also have a pile of bills (Old Navy card, student loans, cable, etc) sitting in front of me, and can't find my checkbook. Every time I start to seriously feel like an adult, something like that happens. Arrrrg.

Andy Philips, baby!